love and guidance

when i first left my family home
i was on a mission
to earn my way alone

but man this world seems to be bubbling over
and the fun is long gone

everybody's so hot
 so hot tempered
and not
not blending smoothly
temperatures soaring
each one ignoring the after effects
too worried about getting theirs now
like baby's crying for the bottle
as if they might not last another second
without immediate attention

oh so many bleeding for the need of love
no tools to rise above
no explanations of where it comes from
oh yeah ~ you also had none
just a mystery to go blindly out to seek
where is the guidance of your wisdom
that i need to tweek with my own
to make my way alone

 i will pay more attention as i reassess the times
listen for the insecurity of lies
and feel free to move on if need be
towards what i project to see
the place where i can stand behind me

love and guidance

missing the music

we have all been missing the music ~ everyone I speak to from my past , misses the days when the joy was  in the music. we were such free spirits , gulping down life like 44 oz slurpees made of magic on a hot summer day.
 we were inspired, teaching ourselves instruments and finding our voices together ~ we were all in love, in friendship and in our liberty ~  it was an amazing time
we were out at the clubs, playing, jamming, circling the spiral of musicians bravely singing out their deepest thoughts and pointing out similarities in us all, the circle came together and it felt so right .... for a moment ... the view was clear and we were intrinsically a part of it ~
our time up in the hills, creating, singing, discovering, writing songs and ceremony and theatrical expressions to share openly and acceptingly ~ no competitive edge just the bonding of harmony.
music meant something deeply profound to all of us. it was our heart in the state of non judgement and complete receptivity. like a radio signal we all tuned into at the same time.
as a dancer, first, each layer of instrument was assigned a section of movement in me ~ the drums my hips, the flute my fingertips, the symbol crash , a flip of the hair and a sudden front stare.
i remember my wonder years boyfriend, with the older brother and big blue eyes, gave me my first taste of rock and roll ~ he showed me how to listen deeply to the lyrics and the instruments ~ ahhhh ~ we would make out for hours to the best music ever made ~
 after the usual scuffle at home, I could always count on the radio to reboot my mood into good. hop in my car, tune in to airwaves and find the song that marks my present emotional state. the second song was to vent the anger away, and by the 3rd tune, I'm back to happy ~
so when our little art family came together it was a dream i could have stayed in forever ~
and as i see my guitar in the corner getting dusty, i think back .... i am so missing the music.