gucci boots in nyc

I'm in a 2 dollar pair of old, black gucci boots, that i acquired from a young starlet on the streets of hollywood~
Now in nyc ,I slip on down the streets on the ice that has camouflaged itself as the avenue ~
I strain my neck, to find the sky between the scrapers holding it hostage up 1000 feet high ~
as it starts to rain, i duck inside and find a painted, starry night and hot tea.

a season to prepare

While photographing Tyler with his family before the Bar Mitzvah ceremony,
Erica said to me , " well Lys, this is it with me and my kids "
 and I said, " what are you talking about ?We have graduations and weddings and their kids ...
There is tons more"
and she shook her head and gave me sad eyes and said, "nope, this is it"

I didn't understand
and the 3 months later she passed away ~

I believe now that our body gives us a season to prepare.

Surface Blind ~

As I look in the mirror and criticize my barely aging face ~ I wonder why I care about this now?

Maybe because it's present, maybe because it is pointed out to me in others in the media everyday.
 But I find myself noticing faults in others where I never even thought about those petty things earlier.

In my eyes I see the beauty ~ I pick it out specifically, intentionally, with consciousness ~
I never noticed the 'imperfections' of others.
Nature is perfect , as is.
It is the color on butterfliy wings.
It is the shapely leaves as they turn light to dark green.
It is the elephant and the zebra at the same watering hole every summer.
It is the scent of orange blossom in the unseen sky.

I never saw the fat on the kid ~ i saw the kid and his smile and his funniness.
I never saw the pimply face ~ i just saw a shy kid needing someone to instigate conversation for him.
I never saw the celulite on the girls thigh, or the nose that may have been larger than some ~
I was too busy seeing the energy they put out ~ their personality.

and fuck  ~ nature is nature is nature ~ why would i believe anything else?
So now when the brainwashing i have allowed in somehow rears its psychic vampireness
~ I must disengaged it ~

I am going back to being Surface Blind

Things I had to find out the hard way...

you cannot separate the situation from the man ~
no matter how special they are , how deep the feeling goes, his situation always plays a roll ~
so choose who you want to follow wisely ~~~

 angry is the weakest position to be in ~
it means you are hurt and reactionary
when you are calm in the face of chaos ~ and no matter what anyone else does , you do not react
that is pure strength

love is a component of 2 immune systems enhancing each other for offspring ~ 
if someone does not return your love , it is not because you are not good enough ~
it is because your immune system does not coincide with their's ~
learn what you can and move on.

the decline of the nuclear family

I am so sad to witness time and time again ~ the decline of the nuclear family as we used to know it ~
A marriage meant something solid, commitment was respected, a man took pride in his family and his word, ethics were what we all were striving for... to be better people and evolve as a society.

It seems now, that almost every man feels that committing to one woman for life is some sort of punishment, despite the fact that that woman gave his children life.
Ironic that they seem to feel as if it lowers their status to be honorable.

The more powerful the men seem to be ~ the less honest and reliable they become.
The more narcissistic, and demanding they are, the easier it seems to intimidate and dominate the people they choose to honor with their presence.
They lie, they cheat, they feel entitled to do as they wish, regardless of the consequences.

Because the men own the 'money game' they dominate the women into denial, a type of submission.
The women accept this behavior.
 Perhaps out of fear, insecurity, or maybe just laziness, the women are observed to be passive aggressive to get their needs met and use manipulative tactics to maneuver their lifestyles and keep their children as safe as possible.

Now it seems, to be married is something to survive itself, rather than it being the safe place to fall.