"the time for benefit of the doubt has passed"

Dr. Phil said,
"the time for benefit of the doubt has passed"

My reflection said,
I wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt.
To give them the opportunity to be the best man,
the highest character that they could be.
But they are frustrated when adopting new behaviors to them.

But you cannot separate the man from the situation. For it was he who designed it himself. Not to say that outward forces are not a strong sway, but if he married her, she was wonderful at one time and not quite vetted. So how he speaks of her better include his accountability and kindness for the mother of the children or he is not a keeper.

If the anger is apparent and his words are clearly a pattern from another looped argument in a past relationship, then he is not resolved.
The relationship to the new woman will be one filled with narcissistic tendencies and disappointments.

But the time for trusting mankind is over.
Most men have dropped into survival mode and behave like feral animals.
Anger comes easily to them while joy seems to them disingenuous.

Laughter feels phony and chills come from smiles when passing strangers on the streets.
What have you all done to the world we were building?
No prejudice, no borders, no enemies.

Just friends and music in the garden at sunset by the shore.

change

A spoiled woman goes into a yoga class and while everyone else is coming out peaceful and happy,
she comes out crying and distraught~

Her friend that brought her there asks, "What is wrong?"

"I always thought i was caring about others, but I'm not sure about that now.
what have i believed in the past? what did i say when i thought the old way?
I can't see things the same way anymore.
I can't ignore what is right in front of me.
How does anyone ignore what is happening in this world?
I believed in the authority and business ethics and integrity.
I thought we were all striving for the same goal... to continue to become a better person.
That is what brought honor.
but now .....
we need to do something!
People need to change!"

the abilities... respons ability, reason ability, account ability

The Abilities...   respons ability, reason ability, account ability

have a reason for your response ~ not just your thoughtless impulse.
reasonable and responsible

an un-pleasable  companion  is truly un-plausable  for happiness


drive your own mood instead of pinging off of others'

Political Conventions

Its the hostility that bothers me the most ~
the need to assign blame to someone for the problems of our people
instead of realizing we need to chill the egos
and get to Solving the problems ~
it's infuriating to see these grown adults ~ some grampa age ~
 spewing their rhetoric as if its gosspil ~
when my eyes watched clearly, in my horror,  the absolute opposite happen.
The Men thought it ok when deregulated, to lie, cheat and steal.
They lowered the standard to disgracefulness
 from that great WW2 generation that demonstrated
 Honor, Integrity, Business Ethics, and Good Sportsmanship

Tell me you want to do!  NOT what you think is wrong with the other guy!
Obama, Romney, Bush,Wall Street, Banks, Government, War, Democrat, Republican, Species, Breeds, Cultures, Castes, Thieves,~~

The money left, when the men lost their balls.
And then their minds.
They reacted in absolute fear after 911
and scrambled in survival mode ~
ruthlessly pillaging their own neighborhood
and robbing their own grandmas.

Modern psychology and basic common sense maturity tells us ~
that if people are ready to kill themselves to make a point
Perhaps they may need a little help.
Instead of bombing them , introduce plumbing.
A shower, a meal and a lay
and they will no longer desire suicide.
You know language, now use it ~
When you are distressed you go to a shrink and he listens and you figure things out ~
well apply that knowledge to countries and peoples in bad situations.
Help them work through the problems instead of showing them your anger.

But the arrogance of our country these days is pathetic ~
Where is the compassion and human empathy?
How are you forgetting the fact that we share an entire planet
with other creatures!
Talk about entitlement!
You are not above me
you are not below me
you exist in the same era as I

and your irrational verbiage is hurtful and useless
grow up everyone ~ roll up your sleeves, get the coffee on
and let's figure out a system that actually makes sense for everyone!
I'm not saying it's easy ~ I'm telling you it's inevitable to do so or die ~
The dirt will be here with its radiation and all long after humanity ~

So try to start caring while we are still here.

Happiness

Happiness is not a state that we arrive at in permanence.
It is a state of mind that sometimes comes easily
and sometimes it is a choice to be made and focused on.

The stresses of everyday, effect our human brains and push us off balance
 if we allow it.

When we hear what someone else said that makes us mad or a stray ball hits us on a playground or we have a problem come up that we don't know the answer to right away ~ these things can frustrate us and take us out of a good balanced mood. But we don't have to let that happen.

Yes ~ things will shock and jolt you and your 'inner brain' will respond naturally~~ but we can stop it there before it grows into the 'outer brain' and comes out of you in some action or words that you regret later.

If you are strong and as self disciplined as an athlete ~
 you can feel the hurt/anger/fear and stop it in its tracks!
All with breath control and preparation.

The trick is learning how to stop the outside forces from effecting your mood as soon as possible.
And there are many different methods to do this.

True Respect

Let me preface what I am going to say , by telling you that this comes from observations over the years ~ looking for patterns and being able to predict pretty closely a chain of events from one single decision ~ one single, little choice ~ can cause a predictable set of events ~
An old Polynesian proverb goes,"Energy flows where attention goes."

So... instead of putting our energy into curing poverty, bringing harmony to the people, and revamping the system to include everyone,
we engage in disharmony and competition.
Ruthless liars prevail and people don't care.

Society is so upside down now ~
 fame at any cost is now not only acceptable, but encouraged.
and i suppose manipulating people to behave in a way that brings predictable trouble is funny and amusing to the home viewer, but i find it so disrespectful to our culture of humanity.
Torturing teenagers, getting lonely housewives drunk and setting them up with adolescent gossip, violent kid games where a car and hooker are the end prize.... OMG ~ what the fuck are you producers thinking!?
This is your legacy?
This is what you want to leave behind in your name for humanity?
This is how you want your children to be?
Or don't you care at all?
Do you want them to just shut up and leave you alone in your pressure?
Do you want people to fear and hate each other and act out in aggression in 2 tons of metal barreling down the road with their mood on fire!?
Stop it you idiots!

 Competitive sports use to include sportsmanship and dignity which created the respect these ruthless players desire.
But I have never believed that fear and respect were the same thing.
Just because you are bully enough to have people obey you, doesn't mean that they would choose that on their own accord.
 And being a choice of someone to listen to and gain advice from is the true sign of respect.

talking behind your back

when people are talking behind your back they are merely collaborating the observed behavior with their own perspective.
it is not some vicious affront ~ it is trying to get an understanding.
It is a diagnosis of the minds when there is 'gossip'
one should not be offended, for one is found interesting enough to discuss.
It would seem that those of us gossiped about are usually the braver ones of the bunch and branch off from our origins exploring the world.
 So to react in anger at gossip is to deny your own appeal.